Safari jokes

 A friend in Wuhan, to help others put forward a wildlife park, talking about hard to hard to describe, other than hard out a lot of jokes also.
First car ran out of bear steak to a meat shop to eat a mess, come back again, the second head Bear and ran out to climb the roof, or with a group of a local storm - probably remember the first head bear meat shop in the numbers, and the brothers reported as a bear.
is performing lions eat then the Mavericks The results of the bovine to the top of the lion, but also a vet, spend less. leopard changed it, and mixed the beef kill, the reporter did not write the article in the papers, that they engage in cruel Entertainment . almost to the closure of the park.
story is one of the red deer.
flood of that year. Luyuan inside and outside was a large pool near.
nearby fellow can be happy, cats are waiting outside in the garden.
of who does?
other red deer.
This raised a lot of deer in the garden, the flood is to hide the slope. Only deer exception, this guy fun but also a high level of the flood water from its swim Rulvpingdi, and mixed to swim out of the fence, and can never see live.
assured the villagers have been waiting for it across the large net a Caesar, effortlessly put deer alive in the past.
deer do, but also rarely resist catching them obediently. - It has experience in the.
If that fellow is going Kaihun to grasp Tai Xiaoqiao old liberated the people of Hubei Province, and indeed some people had come out of the snake eating, so that collusion Heibailiangdao grabbed the zoo, after a nobody do this stupid thing.
lost here, just found the deer, there fellow to use the tractor to get back.
in accordance with the provisions of the garden, get lost in large animals and sent back and had to pay 500 dollars to the people, the fellow is honorable to make a fortune.
started quite grateful for the zoo, later found not right.
deer had just put it back here, a fraction of the second car again flooded Afghanistan. deer is indeed running out of their own, people brought in line with the provisions of non-payment No money.
and other both sit neatly, firmly Dangdang, a pair of pure and innocent appearance, but the answer any of them, never speak. - and, if the opening Red Deer, Park looks to scare a good and bad.
Later, the villagers there to send people to ambush, and finally found the secret.
will afford the fellow villagers to seize the deer, do not immediately returned to the zoo, but the first deer to the village, the U.S. United States meal Zhima Bing, and then sending it back ...
got the sweetness of the red deer to run out every day.
Since then, until the flood back down, red deer garden lost all freedom of movement, a few head looks like African Hualu red deer also were locked up confusedly, - no way, they themselves can not tell it! - really gates of fire, seeding and pool deer.
But you know, before the waters subside That child's brother sister village, opposite the old are constantly in the puddle, and occasionally over a roe deer are very excited.
Unfortunately, roe deer, red deer to swim is not so professional, and obviously Red Deer and it also has a language barrier, Therefore, roe deer just looked at people in a daze.
life and life, and cut off sources of income A
fellow that I mentioned the story of the wild red deer in addition to the zoo, there are stories of bears, intelligent guy good, but the initial expense of two cars back out, looted a meat shop, plus the coach was set up power grid, there is no such thing, but, once under the Bear Park broke a net mouth, bears to drill out, this time it did not out, but the restaurant's kitchen into a zoo ...
bear into the kitchen, of course, do not eat their own meal. It blocked a chef on the inside, but very quiet and looked at people, and do not use force.
chef to make it look scared, and took a few ribs from the refrigerator, which means you finish go. bear flattered finished, still sitting there. he moved, the bear is also moving, he does not move, the bear pulled big bubble bear dung, which means - this place is mine. chef call for help, but he and the bear are in the house, people can not start with Afghanistan. After a child bear and stare his view, the chef has to find a piece of ham to round everything ...
finished the last bear has stared at it, desperate chef in a hurry put a bunch of green onions delivery later.
this can be bad, taste not bear to eat, immediately forget the benefits of the chef, wailing loudly stood up. Fortunately, this time fired the gun through the window anesthetists ...
Qianfan said wildlife park red deer and the bear story, then my friend is doing in the garden
it?
He is a doctor, veterinarian veterinary Beijing Agricultural University graduate, and it plainly, the veterinarian - and later became l Deputy Park
long, perhaps to save animals when both soft and hard treatment, rose up in democratic elections? that is, what animal did not dare to vote for him, for fear escape the said the zoo animals, most often is the natural death of the wild boar, and the right to vet how much, we can figure out something to Han?
medical treatment to the animals is not easy, many times with the Arab people do not.
, for example, He talked about an example of Giraffe zoo fist but they trump card is the wild lions bears stocking, in fact, child sites are limited, and their wild environment or different, is an expansion of the zoo, always missing some giraffe is different, and that is the real stocking. garden inside a lake, surrounded by large tracts of green space, a group of giraffe, and zebra grass in the lake free of Mercedes-Benz, this scene looked out from the tour bus, always people it is joy or the disco!
to put it can be extremely ancient. What A giraffe? according to Japanese research, that stuff is ancient Chinese
legendary good fortune on behalf of animals - unicorn . now also called Japanese management giraffe giraffe it. we pay attention to a auspicious sign of our ancestors, King Wu, when ..
estimated principal did not necessarily make a telegram did not give the idea of Beijing. Unfortunately, my friend immediately took this beauty to the mix a good feeling
.
he said: This giraffe is not a dance, is a Ah ear infection. It can only be thrown head, bounce, while trying to fiddle with the front legs - it will not use curette spoon - it looked rather like to dance.
a giraffe, come from Africa, together with the kinds of expenditure, valued at more than million. principal told the vet all
force cure, or, hey, let's not national units here.
veterinarian friend, it is no tension, keeping vehicles they drove to giraffe over there.
raising the so-called giraffe car, a truck with a fence, on top of a pole, pole hanging basket, which put some
leaves, twigs, fruit and the like, to the giraffe nutritional supplements. Without this, the tree in the garden a couple of days to have as Ge, so that the so-called Safari, just to have a free animal, zoo keepers, have the Why Why. < br> This time they added a half-basket of apples and pineapple slices.
also refused to take that dance giraffe ears, and ran over dinner.
my friend with a telescope to check the giraffe ears. Why telescope ? This six
meters tall giraffes, who have a four-storey garden small building management office, put his head into his three giraffes all right on the balcony watching the fresh look, do not check it how the telescope. He quickly determined that inflammation of the left ear with a giraffe.
confirmed there is a way out. They use a brush to brush the ears, a giraffe, a long tube with a powder inhaled anti-inflammatory, with a pump to spray
giraffe ears.
giraffe against Mody ?
not resist.
this thing is very obedient. my vet friend said, mammals, especially large animals such as elephants, horses are
a human face, and high intelligence. For example Elephant feet pierced thorns, you pull it thorn on the drug, good enough, can hang like a medicine chest on the nose, it obediently carrying big fat feet so you pack up, the pain will never kick you. you a wave, extended nose, put the medicine cabinet, handing me than what his son is also sensible. emotions can be seen the elephant, giraffe disadvantage is not the table - no way, naturally, but it knows that you give her treatment, obediently let you toss is not got a fight.
giraffe, but then they do not understand things.
veterinary friend found the back of a giraffe's ear has swollen a package - - purulent had.
therefore need to receive anti-vitamin.
to animal injections may ease.
it does not understand Yeah, I hit my ears hurt your ass doing?
you say, how to give it explain it?
not altogether explained.
veterinary syringe against a giraffe is a special import. It has three features, first, the penetrating power, charge a large amount of
forty centimeters long needles, if people play, something's on the thin spike, this is because the giraffe fur thickness, weight large, less regardless of drug use. Second, a pressurized drug delivery will be automatically marked, because the giraffe other animals not the same, if you are using an ordinary syringe, not only do not get pressure medication, and syringes will be bounce back - giraffes 300 normal blood pressure, high blood pressure is downright strange that she had never stroke or coronary heart disease, high blood pressure so that intramuscular injection is not easy; the third injection is completed, it is easy to shake off. This is to prevent animal Luanpeng wild guesses, the broken needle in the muscle.
how shot it? My friend was like picking up a rocket launcher, front hit the giraffe's ass out ...

doing so fierce it?
no way, giraffe's butt on the ground three meters above the hand just out of reach, only fired to injections.
In addition, the giraffe is very dangerous side to it injections. giraffes have two weapons in nature, the first is the head,
extremely hard, like iron hammer as a
foot down once the Lions to blind in one eye and another kick, died the next day - the guts Tiduan. If veterinary injections finish the long march to it from the back of a hoof
not play.
get it to give it shot it? does not work, this thing is timid, Once frightened too, and even death.
So, to use catapult launcher.
giraffe that has endured the needle bouncing up and move straight out, and they drove along in the end, why? pick A syringe
.
giraffe up and running very strange, because it is a smooth edge, Beijing called the Shun Po, called the pull-Shun Wang Hsiao-po, but research is to walk along the ancient Egyptians
street, and will not is to learn the giraffe?
a few days, veterinary friends to see this giraffe back to normal, but also a little worried, and it became enemies to go and see with the car
.
not to mention, this giraffe 'd not hold a grudge, the eat, the drink, but also clearly recognize him, a brother in
see this car, very vigilant when eating has been hidden in the other giraffe ass back ... < br> run wild when the zoo, who had an idea that is funded, so do it, only to find it has many
and general zoo not the same place. The owner of courage and knowledge, not education, from Beijing invited experts to tell you how to do wildlife park should be.
different levels of experts, informative, and both major long exposure makes some very good ideas, such as opening a sub-tame animals and visitors
intimate contact, one is an animal feed can be fetched thirty or forty thousand Sunday, the boss happy to call him brother. some idea to ...
one day, one from Beijing to the doctoral study in the UK, soon to be referred to as wild animal advocate under polyculture .-- points with live animals is it? polyculture only animals to the wild
enough to feel the atmosphere of the audience.
high school graduate who is the boss, so respect for Dr. incredible, but to raise him to the tiger and the antelope to
together he can not accept, an antelope seven million, he can not pay that price .-- This is the recommendation of Mr. Doctor, he said that antelope can smart, reproduce, said Dr. wild ...
another sense, however, so the boss and doctor to discuss how we kind of phases?
Dr. is actually a (e) Zhao Kuo, without practical experience, it is A passion that good good, we plan account
program.
first step to put in the tiger's territory birds.
very successful, the tiger to see parrots flying pigeons in half a day, feel and themselves much, and - it will not last
tree, it did not eat this stuff.
live in peace.
the second step, giraffes and zebras keep together.
very successful are herbivorous animals, have been in Africa is the neighbor relationship is fine, zebra grass, giraffes eat
leaves, although the two sides less communication, watch and quite harmonious.
live in peace.
The third step is let the boss scratching their heads.
said Dr. put the Lions in deer park.

Ziyaliezui say boss.
saying British doctor dangerous, not hands-on boss like a long time to implement. Finally, days of venison, - line, to just test, you do it.
so he separated out together, about three-four hundred square meters now, the middle section of the river. also not too small, gossip < br> array there is still at the gate it, that deer have to have a place to escape it. put to the two deer, three red deer, a roe deer.
Finally, put a pair of African lions.
Who A boss has no culture, no acting by, this deer is not good to deal with big horns, and that alert deer legs,
spirit can not be a roe deer, roe deer silly silly roe deer, but as he's wishful thinking is very clear, Dr. Wan Yi's mind there are problems, it is certainly unfortunate roe deer, roe deer, only how much money an A? three thousand five hundred to one month's allowance of a deduction, Dr., just. Of course, the Lions have to match, if the lion be choosers, the boss to pay Great made.
the lion into them, no movement on the surface, in fact, guard the garden, anesthetists, veterinarians all in the
bit, waiting for death in case something happens, it.
how the Lions have done? have workers start in the next bet to see what the lions eat.
roe deer or a deer is bad?
who is not.
lion into the Court, find a place to shade the river, comfortable to lie down, the lion lioness lumbar pillow
in public, the couple quietly watching the deer are, eyed, eyes clear and calm. < br> The deer are very nervous. It stands to reason the deer and eight poles could not beat the Lions, who no one has seen, but the deer and saw it opening the mouth to clear the white stuff
ill intent, bass all of a sudden, hiding across the river went, the better the farther away from the lion. red deer seems to be no reaction, in fact, know the business saw it long, red deer's ears had been erected, enlarged nostrils, it is prepared to do battle. roe deer only silly, standing in the river water to see fresh faces and gotten me very nervous to Everybody.
whole day, sometimes along the river walk with the lion, yawning most of the time to see deer tummy with the sheep like a dog
.
no problem!
after several days, even the deer dare nearer, and only when the Lions dinner, deer are quite away from its
It's time we live in peace, as the same neighborhood.
Obviously, character, not fighting. ancient Rome
the Medici family, wild animals like to play war, in which a record number of fighting lions and tigers, which the Lions lost the majority. However, records, found that where there are lions and tigers fight, the outcome would be mixed, it all depends on who is both a big effort. This is how the case? Therefore, records of the Roman era, the so-called Lions defeat, most of the Lions are not interested in playing, to hunt and eat the prey go after - of course, also rush when
prey of others. So, although it is meat, but not cruel. as long as the hungry, very few take the initiative to attack other animals, it is easy to live in peace with other herbivores. And it's prey to chase, but also more open and aboveboard. He dared to raise with the lion and deer, there is a theoretical basis.
not the same tiger, tiger hunting was , you can break the bison's skull, its power is evident.
the leopard to go extreme. Most people think the leopard is a large beast, in fact, very few leopards than the NPC. But good kill
leopard cruel nature can be that as long as the prey into its field of vision are the goals. It is night, the explorers have found the leopard Xisha five or six times larger than the gorilla! leopard and even the breeder it is difficult to get along with, difficult to establish feelings, can not say when it will go wrong.
in accordance with the character, the brothers and me like a gentleman, bears are corrupt officials, the ostrich is the animal in nature, the hippopotamus is a triad boss, rogue ...
Speaking of chimps here, is inconsistent appearance and inner
, such as gorillas, looked fierce, in fact, very honest gentle, vegetarian, pretty smart. Some animals, looking cute, is actually quite dangerous. here than the three most dangerous side - hippos, chimpanzees and pandas.
hippopotamus, herbivorous, fat looks simple and honest, as I believe most of the big fat man is a good temper, we do not
by the independent The view should be a cute hippo animals. In fact just the opposite, you see the zoo's hippo seems to like yawning, taken in the matter, it was not yawning, is flashed hippopotamus tusks Xian Weifeng it! people think lions in Africa Cheetah is not too threatening for most animals, most threatening to human, it is precisely this short-legged fat man. Do not forget to Chiang keeper is also a big fat man, this hippo keeper in the animal kingdom is a class of local tyrants Chiang bully, gangster.
Why is it that it is a triad boss? It has been crazy attack. add that a long dagger-like teeth, thorns Mito who are six holes, is indeed a rather like gangsters. Africa's large river basically Hippo This is good, that is, where the hippos in the water plants are eaten, the river clean, not a hippopotamus, and that blockage of river soon, but there are disadvantages, that is, rejection of all foreign forces hippopotamus, including the British boats have It snapped in half by. until today Africans across the river, or prefer the night rather than during the day, because, like hippos and triad boss, nightlife, open every night ashore Party, so much safer at night across the river. Therefore keeping Members of the hippopotamus to be very careful, he must not be regarded as invaders, otherwise, do not bite, think of a more than two tons of mad rush towards you a big fat man comes, you better pray not to hit it in the alley.
Hussein believes that As for the chimps, most of the exchanges and it started from the circus, on the surface of the genes and this guy who
close to 98%, and even be able to make and use tools - it can be repaired when the grass stick fishing rod catch termites to eat, this craft has never been one
children seriously, then there is a scientist himself a pilot, only to find this stuff really for the children to be skilled Caixing (Or you try? night home to an ant can not blame me). However, the animal kingdom of the wise, but it has bad quality, it can be said, is simply a manifestation of human evil. It has been reported stolen babies found in Africa eat chimpanzees, because environmental damage Character variation and so on. In fact, this is a lack of understanding of people chimpanzees. beautiful scientist Jane. Goodall and the chimpanzees living together for four years, the report proved that she has never had to eat baby chimp's habit, not only attacked the village eat human baby , and also hit his mother in chimpanzee group to capture their infants to eat. chimpanzees do it when the use of various machinations, such as the mobilization of attention and then open the mother orangutan to start, as the same as when humans do bad things. Therefore, Goodall, have their own children are always very careful to lock up the house to avoid being chimps steal to eat. If it is this, it can be said that the nature of an animal, chimpanzees there is a bad habit that often take the initiative to attack humans , even become its friends, too. This is because the chimpanzee society, through their own initiative to attack the other to establish the status of chimpanzee attack, is to remind you: I am the boss!
so let I thought some of the violence-loving guy. and One is a panda.
panda is more innocent in fact. as pandas usually mild, clumsiness, like the play, is quite dependent on the breeder
, plus looks lovely, has always been popular zoo guy. add a few words, the panda's character, fantastic, But the Americans on the pandas live in single rooms are very unhappy that the lack of entertainment facilities, is a Panda considered mental health? the suggestion of the Americans, they put out a panda, the result is very pleased that fat guy, ran to the door on the grass, holding his head on the wheel broke down, and then rerun up, and then wheel broke down, play the whole day. the audience visibly moved. inspection staff in order to get the panda's data, set traps, placed inside the roast lamb, the results have harvested the same day, falling into the trap of the panda Shuangshoubaotou, very sad look, it is sympathy. the amount of height and weight, blood pressure, take the class after hanging signs, then let it walk. The next term, ah, good high-efficiency, but also an Arab, then, height, weight ... whoops , how the child with the card? but it was yesterday that. little poor children not long memory, it! we finally understand that this kid is not stupid, is addicted to eating lamb meat, throw about What is it? Somebody help me out. we all scratching their heads, we can not study the day after the first, right? too VIP was. Last Expedition had dug a trap for this panda every day and seek hide and seek in the battle of wits for the two sides for a long time.
but the panda is also quite dangerous, nothing to prevent its lovely people, or even holding the camera, so a sudden
impinge upon people injured, the injured and wronged all shouted, baffled.
since been proved, Panda wounding, mostly occurring in a confused state, not even be aware of its own, this
have some relations between the moon and the sun.
Gu Long novels there is a bear inside her grandmother, will kill every full moon because the moon is her crazy.
black animal in the sun or the moon tides child, the emotion should also change, reflected in the Panda who is sometimes lead to This time there will be some atavistic phenomenon. The panda throwback to terrible.
as meat animals, but the panda's ancestors! it is too clumsy, and not catch prey, only to change the eating bamboo The.
Although clumsy, the kind of wild beast is always there, therefore, a change occurred in the Sky when the panda suddenly dim consciousness (this simple guy who is easy to sense the dim, we can see the importance of education) , as if hunting fierce ancestors back to the ancient > Closer to home, it raised the lion and the deer were later implemented the plan, but into the deer park to a single charge, but also have
many warnings, such as not allowed to play the flash, not allowed to loud noise - startled the lion is very dangerous! - In fact, this is the boss of the hype, the lion is the patience, you are firing, it will not trouble to find deer, and perhaps it also when he is in the heart of the Big Brother do deer. Results of curiosity, the viewer waves, the lion in the sun on the grass, deer in the water, the giraffe in ���� to see the people feel a deep impression.
, of course, the boss of the pocketbook become rich, and this is his most happy .
to have money for a burn, the boss is not a law-abiding. we do not understand professional, the risk too big to play the Lions, but as long as they touch the vain side of animals, and probably it can be mixed culture, for example, goats and seals.
this boss is that people who do your job, and everybody has quite reasonable that, hey, not to mention that this very successful, seals do not
eat goat, goat will not know yourself seals.
say that we went to the boss, you see the monkey and the tiger could get it together? Speaking in front of the zoo
boss on her own to see the monkeys and tigers could get together. has that flattering of rape
party to boast A: high, really high, ah, you see, the tiger cat with learning ability, sent on a tree, the monkey hiding in the trees, the two sides should interfere in each other. and that zoo, it has not done it.
that the boss is more successful recently - were more successful when the lack of immunity against Jiandang to - well, slap
a film, we will go when the Herald! that Jiandang was named head of the trial.
my friends did not feel wrong at all logical to hang what, have not heard of a tiger eating monkey
natural son, of course, Tiger is not such a thing to eat monkeys. Of course, all still in the order, the first beast Court set aside a piece of a tree in place, to catch the double-layer mesh cage as the experimental area, the internal test support.
first the monkeys fit, where there are dozens of old trees thick trees, the monkeys come down to earth in order to avoid damage by the tiger, from
between trees from the distant, and drew the chain bridge or ladder. monkeys are shipped to Hainan Island, New monkeys, a total of ten, including a particularly strong, is the king of the monkey group, nicknamed grab one wins bowl basin, accounting for kitchen fight bed, to move over, move over, it is mischievous monkey, no one Ning, the only effective move Shenpi side just tired. and Jiandang began to implement suddenly Qunhou charge sound, all shares Su apes, two days before the experimental area became noisy noises quiet. monkeys you look at me, I look at you, who dare not noisy, obediently stay top of the tree, and occasionally probe Look, as long as the tiger turned and immediately drew back.
zoo officials are also showing that it is also a veterinary anesthesiologist on standby Ge pillow, carefully observed.
tiger is calm, there is no response to the monkeys .
next day, met to discuss, understand responsible Jiandang two points, first, a preliminary look, tigers and monkeys and do not invade
committed, peaceful coexistence is a success; second, the monkey may be afraid of not properly eating, the Ministry of openings in the cage line, the establishment of high-altitude food delivery channel. these two points, has been common in the motion. After the meeting, we went together to visit them, to see the monkeys no longer as nervous with each other in a tree Jijigugu exchange experience, great courage dare to swing in the trees You went. and the tiger in the tree appropriation of Australian beef to eat, leisurely. owner of the management to think about the project, to feed the monkeys bananas fruit height channel , so that visitors can come to eat - he has pondered a way of making money.
the third day of uneventful.
the fourth day, there is something changed. In the afternoon my friend was a deer weighed it, Hu Ting Xiao experimental area Fangxiang Hu
repeatedly.
this tiger for a long time there is no such call, and he quickly put down the job, running over to see several people crowded in to see what
. Ganqing a monkey and tiger fight.
but this fight is one-sided war. who share advantage? monkeys.
these Bima Wen looked for three days, I feel that wearing a striped big cat coats nothing, so he
from the initial fear, instead began to relax, naughty monkey king, it relaxed, it is to trouble the. noon meal, They began to eat the leftover stone, peanut skin throw his head toward the tiger - not to mention, really quite accurate - two tigers were not trouble the peace, so Tigers protest, so he hung toward the tree tiger
sprang, but unfortunately the level of bad, scratching for a long time, only in the place get angry, but not half-step on. to see the tiger tree branches tree branches, the tiger could not withstand, turn tail run away, afraid to stay in the tree.
boss of view, it was said that the tiger does not end in disappointment right. what the boss said that even if it ends
Tiger is too lazy, multi-call voice will attract a few viewers, say, the tiger lying to monkeys to play, the world really few such jokes. He shook his head, back ...